I am fortunate to have the opportunity to facilitate advisory boards consisting of small business entrepreneurs. As an Executive Coach, I am keenly interested in hearing the common issues that surface regularly with business owners. Three that I heard today which seem to be fairly consistent are:
1. A feeling of discouragement that comes in waves.
2. A lack of motivation that seems to be cyclical.
3. A fear of success that seems to be pervasive in one’s life and work.I started to wonder if the very attributes that encourage entrepreneurism are also ultimately the reasons why it is so easy for entrepreneurs to become discouraged, fearful and unmotivated for a period of time. Is it that our idea adrenaline propels us to action only to stop us dead in our tracks when we face the mundane difficulties of business? How can a masterful coach be helpful? I felt myself craving the opportunity to take off my facilitator hat and put on my coaching cap. Because I couldn’t do that today, allow me a moment to play out an imaginary coaching conversation around one of the issues, “handling discouragement.” Here it goes.
Coachee: “I’ve been feeling particularly discouraged about the business this week. I’d like to talk about that.”
Coach: “Sounds good. What is it that you would like to take away from today’s session with regard to that?”
Coachee: “I’d like to prevent myself from going down that road – it’s so debilitating.”
Coach: “I see. So today then, you want to come up with some ideas/solutions to circumvent the discouragement you sometimes feel?”
Coachee: “Yes, that’s correct.”
Coach: “I’m curious to know what triggered the feeling of discouragement for you this week?”
Coachee: “I’ve been working so hard to do the right things and I was so excited when I was busy, but things have slowed down again, cash flow is an issue and I just started thinking it was always going to be like this. I began to doubt myself.”
Coach: “Well first let me say that I have been very impressed with the all the things you have been doing to market your business over the past few months. You have shown terrific energy and passion for what you are doing. How have you felt about this great work you’ve been doing so far?”
Coachee: “Well, I was feeling terrific about it, but then it stopped paying off and as I said that’s when I started to get discouraged.”Coach: “What is it that worries you most about that?”
Coachee: “I panic when things look slow and I can’t see where the cash flow is going to come from. I’m terrified of the debt I’m incurring.”
Coach: “I can appreciate the immediacy of that concern. Knowing where the money is going to come from is important. Tell me, what do you believe the future will be for you in this business?”
Coachee: “I’d like to believe it looks completely different. Lots of ongoing business, cash flow excellent, and all the work I do to build the business really paying off.”
Coach: “Hmmm. I have a thought – I wonder if you would mind if I shared it?
Coachee: “Certainly, go ahead.”
Coach: “When you said “I’d like to believe” the future looks different, it made me wonder how strong your belief really is that you are going to achieve success. How unwavering is your faith in this business?”
Coachee: “Well, that’s a great question. On the one hand, I do believe it can be hugely successful if I do all the right things and can sustain it. On the other hand, I sometimes doubt that I will be able to do all the right things to sustain it and therefore it won’t be successful. So I guess the answer is that my faith is “wavering” rather than “unwavering.”
Coach: “You know, recognizing that is really a huge step forward. How much of this wavering feeling contributes to your discouragement do you think?”
Coachee: “I suspect a lot. If I could be really determined that all will work out no matter what and go forward fearlessly, I think it would really make a big difference.”
Coach: “Have you ever experienced this feeling of determination and unwavering faith in anything before?”
Coachee: “Possibly. Nothing leaps to mind. Maybe when I was at University. I never doubted that I would be a successful graduate.”Coach: “What do you think was the reason for that assuredness?”
Coachee: “Well, I just knew I could do it. I always did well in school. I knew I had to finish – no choice.”
Coach: “That’s interesting. You felt you had no choice but to be successful. How would that apply here in this context?”
Coachee: “Good question. In the back of my mind, I know I always have a choice. I could get a j-0-b! I really don’t want to do that. But it’s always a niggling thought when the cash flow isn’t there and I begin to panic.
Coach: “I can understand that. In this economy, it would really be easy for you to get a j-o-b. What if you decided to do that? How would it make you feel?”Coachee: “Terrible. It’s not what I want. It would ease the immediate financial pressure, but it wouldn’t address my true desires and long-term needs.”
Coach: “What do you think it would take for you to make that a non-choice for you?”
Coachee: “I don’t know. I think if I had some back up cash flow it would help. Perhaps visualizing how unhappy I’d be if I did make that choice.”
Coach: “OK. That’s reasonable. What are some possibilities that might be more empowering?”
Coachee: “I’m not sure what you mean. I guess if I could get cash flow and if I could start truly believing without wavering, I’d be happier.”
Coach: “How could you begin to work on both of those objectives?”
Coachee: “Well, I guess I really have no evidence to suggest I won’t be successful. However, I do have evidence that I will be, because I always have been before. And I could get money from the bank. I guess that’s what businesses do.”
Coachee: “So it sounds like you could start with visualizing success based on past success and you could take the first steps in getting the cash flow you require through the bank?”
Coachee: “Yes.”Coach: “How do you feel about getting started on those two objectives?”
Coachee: “I feel pretty positive actually. I just need to keep the faith.”
Coach: “It can be difficult. What support do you need to keep the faith?”
Coachee: “I can start with going to the bank and finding out what could be.”
Coach: “When will you do that?”Coachee: “Tomorrow.”
Coach: “Great. Tell me, what are you taking away from our session today?”Coachee: “My real future is in this business. I really need to see myself in the future as a success and I need to do the things that are necessary today to make that happen. I can’t know the outcome for certain on any choices that I make, including having a j-o-b and I have to get comfortable with that.”
