Professionals that I have worked with seem to come to the table with similar issues. They are generally very smart people who want to go somewhere in particular. They have their own visions and dreams, and yes, their current realities. So what do they want to talk about? You guessed it – how to get there, how to overcome what’s holding them back, how to close the gap from “now” to “then.” Many are disabled by their conflicting desires or shall I say their desires conflict with their long held beliefs. Here’s an example: “If I go for it and start my own business, I’ll be so busy that I won’t have time for my family.” What have they relinquished? The very thing that’s attracted them to have their own business – freedom to make their own decisions and do things their own way. Talk about getting “stuck.” Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I bet there are possibilities for starting your own business AND ensuring you have the right amount and kind of time you need with your family if you decide to. I know this tension, because I often experience it myself. As a coach, what I strive for is how to engage the professional I’m coaching to use this natural tension to their advantage. Get creative. Explore the beliefs that are holding you back and decide how you will counteract the negative self-talk that we all do. So for today, my suggestion is to first write down what it is that you want, how do you want to “be” in the next three years for example? Write down everything that you believe is holding you back or could hold you back. Decide how you will reframe the problem. For example: “I don’t have the working capital I need and there’s no way I can just stop supporting my family – no back up for me.” That’s fair – so now instead of deciding to spend the next 1o years of your life doing something you don’t want to do, what are the possibilities for either getting the working capital or doing things differently than you had envisioned? Write them down. Test them with a trusted advisor, friend or coach.
